I have thought about not putting this here but I find it so funny it has to be "out there", I do hope certain people (who I will not name) don't read this blog, though I can't see how they could find me, but you never know...I certainly saw a new aspect of someone which did surprise me this week.
Okay, here goes. I am not sure if I have mentioned it but Callum has been playing soccer this past season (2 games to go YAHOOO) It has always been traditional to get a gift for the coach so as no one else had stepped up to the plate it looks like it will be me again this year. I got little notes all typed up to hand out at training this week as the coach was supposed to be away and had arranged for one of the dads to take over. Our coach turned up so we will have to wait till Saturday and game day to get these out...bugger. Anyway it was fortunate that the coach did turn up as his wife did too (I haven't seen her for a while and I wasn't expecting to see her again before wind-up). We had a wee talk to find out what the coach liked and it was agreed that Bourbon or similar would do as he doesn't drink beer or wine and she couldn't think of anything else apart from chocolates. Cool, no problem I thought, nice and easy. Training continued and I chatted to someone for the hour(ish) that the kids were on the oval.
After training Nicky had joined me from hanging out with her friends and I was finishing up my conversation when the friend of the coaches wife approached me and said that Mary *not her real name* had been thinking about it and that a years subscription to Zoo Weekly would be the perfect gift.................warning! no responsibility taken for content on the link I don't want to know!
I think my jaw hit the ground, rebounded and ended up somewhere half way down my torso - either that or I had suddenly grown a spectacular set of antlers as she looked at me as if I had done something really strange. I couldn't speak...truly this has to be the first time ever I have been at a loss of what to say. She stuttered something like - it was Mary's idea, she thought it would be good - I just looked at her trying to summon the power of speech or thought. Eventually I managed to mutter "Oh, how do I do that" at which point several suggestions were made, I replied that I didn't think that I should do it - I didn't have the details required, she has offered to check out a copy of the magazine that she has at home to find out. By this point my mind had started to work again and I was able to say "do you think it an appropriate gift?" to which she said, oh yes he will really appreciate it, it would be perfect for him.
I then pointed out that this was coming from kids in Years 2 and 3 of primary school, aged between 7 and 9, what would you tell them if they asked what they were giving him -
Sweet little child - Mummy what are we giving John *not his real name* to thank him for all his hard work this past season?
Mummy - Oh sweetheart, we are giving John a subscription to Zoo Weekly magazine, he really enjoys this and it would help to relax him.
Sweet little child - Oh that is nice, what is Zoo Weekly?
Mummy - its just a scud magazine my sweet, full of semi clothes women and a couple of stories aimed at the late teen and early to mid 20 year old male.
Sweet little child - But Mummy John is an old man of at least 40 years old
Mummy - What can I say, enough talk go play with your trains!
I think this female must consider me to be so much of a prude - if only she knew the truth, but some things are just so inappropriate. This man coaches our kids, he is a big influence on them, he is an upholder of the law (policeman - need I say more - and before anyone says anything to that comment, I have worked with police officers for years and know exactly what the culture is like). What he does in his own time is his own business but I won't be getting him a sub to that publication - not from a bunch of kids of that age.
I have laughed about this so much it has made my belly ache, last night I just kept giggling in bursts when I thought about it and the look on the woman's face looking at my reaction to her suggestion. Have told a couple of people and we have laughed till we have cried....David suggested doing it and maybe I should, getting a big gift card a bit like those gift cheques made out for him to let him know he has a sub to Zoo Weekly (not to be confused with a Zoo membership)....to give to him in front of the whole club - would that be funny....oh yes, maybe I should then .......
Okay, here goes. I am not sure if I have mentioned it but Callum has been playing soccer this past season (2 games to go YAHOOO) It has always been traditional to get a gift for the coach so as no one else had stepped up to the plate it looks like it will be me again this year. I got little notes all typed up to hand out at training this week as the coach was supposed to be away and had arranged for one of the dads to take over. Our coach turned up so we will have to wait till Saturday and game day to get these out...bugger. Anyway it was fortunate that the coach did turn up as his wife did too (I haven't seen her for a while and I wasn't expecting to see her again before wind-up). We had a wee talk to find out what the coach liked and it was agreed that Bourbon or similar would do as he doesn't drink beer or wine and she couldn't think of anything else apart from chocolates. Cool, no problem I thought, nice and easy. Training continued and I chatted to someone for the hour(ish) that the kids were on the oval.
After training Nicky had joined me from hanging out with her friends and I was finishing up my conversation when the friend of the coaches wife approached me and said that Mary *not her real name* had been thinking about it and that a years subscription to Zoo Weekly would be the perfect gift.................warning! no responsibility taken for content on the link I don't want to know!
I think my jaw hit the ground, rebounded and ended up somewhere half way down my torso - either that or I had suddenly grown a spectacular set of antlers as she looked at me as if I had done something really strange. I couldn't speak...truly this has to be the first time ever I have been at a loss of what to say. She stuttered something like - it was Mary's idea, she thought it would be good - I just looked at her trying to summon the power of speech or thought. Eventually I managed to mutter "Oh, how do I do that" at which point several suggestions were made, I replied that I didn't think that I should do it - I didn't have the details required, she has offered to check out a copy of the magazine that she has at home to find out. By this point my mind had started to work again and I was able to say "do you think it an appropriate gift?" to which she said, oh yes he will really appreciate it, it would be perfect for him.
I then pointed out that this was coming from kids in Years 2 and 3 of primary school, aged between 7 and 9, what would you tell them if they asked what they were giving him -
Sweet little child - Mummy what are we giving John *not his real name* to thank him for all his hard work this past season?
Mummy - Oh sweetheart, we are giving John a subscription to Zoo Weekly magazine, he really enjoys this and it would help to relax him.
Sweet little child - Oh that is nice, what is Zoo Weekly?
Mummy - its just a scud magazine my sweet, full of semi clothes women and a couple of stories aimed at the late teen and early to mid 20 year old male.
Sweet little child - But Mummy John is an old man of at least 40 years old
Mummy - What can I say, enough talk go play with your trains!
I think this female must consider me to be so much of a prude - if only she knew the truth, but some things are just so inappropriate. This man coaches our kids, he is a big influence on them, he is an upholder of the law (policeman - need I say more - and before anyone says anything to that comment, I have worked with police officers for years and know exactly what the culture is like). What he does in his own time is his own business but I won't be getting him a sub to that publication - not from a bunch of kids of that age.
I have laughed about this so much it has made my belly ache, last night I just kept giggling in bursts when I thought about it and the look on the woman's face looking at my reaction to her suggestion. Have told a couple of people and we have laughed till we have cried....David suggested doing it and maybe I should, getting a big gift card a bit like those gift cheques made out for him to let him know he has a sub to Zoo Weekly (not to be confused with a Zoo membership)....to give to him in front of the whole club - would that be funny....oh yes, maybe I should then .......
1 comment:
Yep you got my attention and yep, I have such a good picture of Ev standing there looking dumbfounded !! And I don't think you would be alone. Thanks for the laugh! MY DH coached the the kids' soccer teams for about 10 years (largely due to a lack of alternative volunteers even for a year) - just think, I missed so many opportunities when asked about that annual gift! PS I had a look at the site so I would know what you were talking about!It is well-named!
Post a Comment